Mother Mary Comes to Me

Having read two of Arundhati Roy’s novels, The God of Small Things and The Ministry of Utmost Happiness, I wasn’t sure what to expect from her memoir Mother Mary Comes to Me. I need not have worried; this book is as brilliant, cutting, sharp, and true as her fiction.

The book is a memoir by design, but is also a love letter to the complicated relationship Roy shared with her mother, Mary. At one point, Roy describes Mary as her “most enthralling subject,” as a “gangster,” and as her “shelter and [her] storm.” While this may sound like the book praises Mary unconditionally, you need to read that line more closely–shelter and storm. Roy faces her mother’s flaws head-on, neither condemning nor forgiving Mary for them; instead, she presents a full and nuanced picture of the woman who gave birth to her.

Mary Roy was a teacher, a feminist, and an ambitious woman at a time when any one of those labels would have been challenging for a woman in India. She raised her children in an increasingly rigid political climate that she fought against while also expecting a rigid standard for her children that could be oppressive, abusive, and cruel. Roy makes it clear that she would not be the person or writer she is today without her mother Mary, but as a reader, I have to question if she would be more joyful in an alternate universe.

Still, if mother/daughter relationships are of interest to you, or if you’d like to read about a remarkable woman’s life, Mother Mary Comes to Me is a must-read.